Having a close friend or family member officiate your wedding is one of the most personal and meaningful choices you can make. Whether you're aiming for a ceremony that’s funny, emotional, spiritual, or a perfect blend of it all, giving your officiant the right support can make all the difference. Here’s everything you need to know to help them shine in this special role.
Before anything else, your officiant needs to be legally recognized to perform your marriage. The most accessible route is through an online organization like the Universal Life Church (ULC). It’s free, fast, and recognized in most states—but be sure to check your state and county requirements just to be safe. Some locations may require additional documentation or registration.
Schedule time to sit down together—over coffee, a meal, or a walk—and talk about what you want your ceremony to feel like. Should it be lighthearted, poetic, sentimental, or a mix of everything? Do you want to approve the script beforehand, or would you rather be surprised on the day of?
This conversation helps your officiant understand your tone, your values, and what matters most to you both. It’s the foundation for a ceremony that truly reflects your relationship.
Even the most confident speakers benefit from a written script. Weddings are emotional, and it’s easy to lose your place or get choked up in the moment. Encourage your officiant to write out the ceremony in full and practice reading it out loud several times. This helps with pacing, tone, and delivery—and ensures they feel calm and prepared when it’s time to speak in front of your guests.
Write private love letters to each other and give them to your officiant first to read them ahead of time. This gives them personal insights and heartfelt moments to weave into the ceremony, making it even more meaningful. Be sure to give them your vows well in advance too to avoid any last minute scramble.
The officiant may not be the one walking down the aisle, but they’re still center stage. Help them be prepared with:
These small touches go a long way in helping them feel organized and at ease.
Officiating a wedding isn’t just symbolic—it’s a legal act. Your officiant is responsible for filling out the marriage license correctly and completely. Many counties require them to list their title as "minister" —not just "officiant." Double-check the local requirements and make sure they understand what’s expected. When in doubt, sign with "minister"!
Once the ceremony is over, your officiant needs to file the marriage license with the appropriate county office. Without this crucial step, your marriage won’t be legally binding. Remind them to handle it promptly—and definitely not leave it tucked in a pocket or bag for a week.
Having someone you love stand beside you and guide your ceremony is a beautiful way to celebrate your relationship. With a little preparation and guidance, your officiant will be ready to deliver a ceremony that’s personal, meaningful, and legally legit.
Learn more about working with your officiant and curating a ceremony that is meaningful to you by checking out our other blogs!
For more tips and tricks, tune into the full episode of 52 ‘Til I Do on Spotify or Apple Podcasts.
Have more officiant related questions? Send us a message at hello@marryment.com or get in touch on our social media—we love helping couples navigate this part of wedding planning!
Photo Credit to JNA Visuals
Marryment proudly serves couples all across Chicago and the surrounding Chicago Suburbs including popular areas such as Schaumburg, Elmhurst, Naperville, Evanston, Joliet, Oak Park, Skokie, Barrington, Downers Grove and Northbrook, to name a few. We also love destination weddings. We'd love to be a part of your wedding day! Schedule your free planning call with us today.
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